


For Better or for Worse, Hajime

by ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil



Series: (almost) Everyone is Non-Male | Girls' Volleyball Teams [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, Falling In Love, Female Iwaizumi Hajime, Female Oikawa Tooru, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Short One Shot, Yachi the wingwoman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 18:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17146922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil/pseuds/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil
Summary: Oikawa Tooru decided a long time ago that for better or for worse, her last toss of high school would be to her best friend Iwaizumi Hajime. Now, they've lost, and she's trying to pick up the pieces. All she knows is that it's time to tell Hajime how she really feels.Can be read as an independent work, but I would recommend reading the first part of the series for context (especially on why Yachi and Oikawa are best friends).





	For Better or for Worse, Hajime

**Author's Note:**

> Because it didn't fit in the big fic.

I stared at my phone for what felt like hours before picking it up. It was our last night at the hotel, last chance to get my best friend’s assistance on asking out my other best friend – my childhood friend.

Finally, I picked it up.

-

**Oikawa:** Yachi I need you

**Yachi:** Level 1 or level 10

**Oikawa:** Level 100 :(

**Yachi:** Omw babe

-

_Iwa-chan._

I’ve known her so long, I can’t even remember meeting her. I think I do have an earliest memory, though. We were four years old, playing in a park.

I don’t remember very much, but I remember chasing her around, laughing. Everything was funny at that age.

I remember tossing her a volleyball for the first time when we were five. It wasn’t a technical toss at all, just two kids having fun.

“Hajime! Play with me!”

I guess that the rest is history, right?

-

“How lucky that your house is so close to our hotel,” I marveled when Yachi arrived. I was trying to keep a light attitude, but I was freaking out. It’s not every day you tell the person who’s known you since birth that you’re in love with them.

“You’re okay?” she asked, gripping my shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, congratulations again on beating Shiratorizawa.”

“Focus, Tooru.”

“Sorry.”

“Do you know what room she’s in?”

“Of course I do. All the third-years are on the same floor.”

“Alright, so take me there. You’re going to do just fine. Have you rehearsed? Written a note if you can’t say anything?”

I nodded, holding up the note in embarrassment. “I knew how to write it because I’ve gotten hundreds throughout the years.”

“I bet, Hottykawa. But you need to keep it together. She probably feels the same, you know?”

“Yeah, which is why you’re the best friend who calls me Hottykawa, and she calls me Shittykawa.”

“Don’t forget Crappykawa and Trashykawa,” Yachi added. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Tooru! I’m teasing.”

“It’s not very nice! You know I’m feeling fragile!”

I hit floor four on the elevator, and we rode it up.

“You’re not fragile. You’re the strongest girl I know. This is going to be a breeze, okay?”

-

We used to hold hands in the hallway all the time. We’d hug and cuddle and spend time together like little girls do.

“I love Hajime!” I told my mom. “I wanna be with her forever!”

“I’m sure you will be, Tooru.”

But we turned ten, and suddenly it wasn’t so normal anymore. Kids were learning the word “gay” for the first time, and apparently, even looking at someone of the same gender was gay. Once, I kissed her on the cheek at recess, and a teacher told us that it was naughty and not allowed.

After that, we stopped being affectionate around other people. Eventually, we weren’t affectionate at all.

-

Finally, the elevator stopped, and we got out.

“I’m here with you.” She grabbed my hand firmly. “I’m not going to let you back out of this. We made a deal.”

“Shouldn’t you be going down on your girlfriend tonight?” I realized. “I’m so sorry!”

“I can do that tomorrow. This, I can’t do tomorrow. Besides, she played all five sets. Kiyoko is exhausted.”

“Fair enough.” After a moment, I added, “That’s kinda hot though.”

“Right? Okay, now go!”

-

When I hit puberty, I really came into myself, physically, but emotionally? I struggled as much as any teenager. Some kid two years younger than me was better than me in every respect; I felt like my best friend was a million miles away from me…

And _boys_.

Boys stopped thinking it was gross to like girls, so they started liking me. I didn’t know what to do, so I accepted their feelings whenever I could. With every boyfriend, I felt Hajime become angrier. For a long time, I thought she was jealous because boys didn’t ask her out.

But then a girl confessed to me, at the end of first-year, and I accepted.

“I didn’t know you liked girls, Trashykawa.” She was gritting her teeth and practicing serves. I felt sad, but I didn’t understand why.

“I didn’t either, to be fair.”

“You never even mentioned it.”

“Well, surprise, I’m bisexual!”

She stopped and looked at me. “Good for you.”

“Jeez, Iwa-chan, you’d think I just hit a dog. What’s your problem?”

“No problem, Shittykawa. None at all.”

-

I knocked on the door, but in my daze, I totally miscounted.

“Yeah?” Hanamaki answered, looking at me. “Oh! Oikawa…hey!”

I stiffened, trying to ignore the fact that she was only wearing a long t-shirt. “Did…did I wake you…?”

“Who’s tha- Oikawa!” Matsukawa gasped. I didn’t have to ask what she was doing in there since she was wearing a towel.

_Absolutely horrific._ I squeezed my eyes shut. “Which room is Iwa-chan in?”

“The next one down,” Maki said, voice breaking with embarrassment.

“Great.” I turned around and heard the door close.

-

“Oikawa.” It was only Oikawa when she was being serious. “I’m gay.”

“You are?” This information made my heart flutter, but I didn’t yet know why.

“Yeah. Unlike _some people_ , I believe in making my best friend the first to know.”

“Jeez, Iwa-chan, how man times do I have to apologize for that?” Like any of my relationships, it hadn’t exactly lasted very long. “So, do you like anyone?”

“As if I’m telling _you_ that!” she barked. “You’d just get involved, you meddling piece of shit!”

“So mean, Iwa-chan! I was just asking, fuck!”

-

“Yikes,” Yachi said, borderline laughing. “At least someone’s getting some tonight, though, right?”

“Shut up,” I begged, sliding down the wall on the other side of the hall. “I can’t confess after that, Yachi!”

“Why not?” she asked, sitting next to me.

“Because! What do I say to her? ‘Hey, Iwa-chan! Just accidentally walked in on Maki and Matsu fingering each other, but thought it was the perfect time to tell you I’m in love with you!’ Get _real_.”

“What?”

My heart stopped dead.

-

It wasn’t all bitterness, though.

“I got invited to Aoba Johsai!” I cheered, showing her the letter.

“Me too! Did you get invited anywhere else?”

“Yeah! Shiratorizawa. What about you?”

She shook her head. “That’s so cool…do you know where you’re going?”

“Obviously!” I told her. “I’m going to Seijoh with you!”

“Shiratorizawa is a powerhouse, though!” she gasped. “It’s the best school in the prefect for volleyball – why are you turning something like that down? Are you stupid or something?”

“I don’t want to go somewhere that you’re not at. I don’t want to toss a volleyball if you’re not the spiker hitting it. Without you…it’s pointless.”

She turned red. “W-well – okay! That’s – that’s your stupid decision to make, Trashykawa!”

“I love you too, Iwa-chan~!” I sang, hugging her.

“Sh-shut up!”

-

“Shittykawa,” the voice said, “what did you just say?”

“I…Maki and Matsu are in a room together…doing things.”

I turned to see Hajime crinkling her nose in disgust. “Man, sorry you had to see that, then.”

“I’m traumatized, Iwa-chan.”

“I don’t blame you,” she said. “What was the other thing you said?”

“Just forget it-”

“Is this a fucking joke to you, Tooru?”

-

“So, what, you like some girl now? You’ve liked some girl for a while?” She sounded mad again, just when I thought maybe we were past that.

“Yeah.” How can I tell her that it’s her?

“Were you going to tell me about this one, or just wait for the teen magazines to fill me in?”

“Iwa-chan…”

“I’m scared.”

“Of- of what?”

“Of losing you. When we go to college, what if we’re in different places? What if we can’t play volleyball together? What if when this season is over, it’s over?” I’d never seen her break down like this before.

“I’m going where you go,” I promised. “You know that!”

“You shouldn’t! You’ve given up on so many opportunities because you chose to play with me. I mean, what if we don’t go to Nationals this year? Will it have been worth it?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even have to think about that. “So, so worth it, Iwa-chan. Without you, what’s the point?”

-

I turned for Yachi’s help, but she had disappeared. _Some friend._ “To me? Says the one who’s never said a nice thing to me since we turned ten, sure!”

“I’m plenty nice to you.”

And she wasn’t lying; she really was. When I broke down, she always caught me and picked up the pieces. That was how I fell in love with her in the first place.

-

“I’ll never be good enough.”

I thought I was alone when I’d said it, but Hajime came out of the shadows.

“Tooru.” It was only Tooru when she was sincere and concerned. “What are you on about?”

I tried to hide the fact that I was crying. It was the end of second year, the fourth time we wouldn’t be going to Nationals. I was never enough to carry the team. And on top of that, I was supposed to be the next captain?

“I shouldn’t be the captain – you should be! You’re talented, disciplined, good with people! I’m not good enough, I’m not _enough_. I can never carry a whole team.”

“You’re- you’re not carrying the team, idiot!” She sat down next to me. “There’s always six people on the court. All of us carry the team.”

I threw myself into her arms. “I’m not a genius, Iwa-chan.”

“You don’t have to be.” She rubbed my back. “You…you just have to be yourself, and stop blaming yourself for every loss. You and me? We’re out there together, and we’re going to win together, and even if we lose together, it’s not on you. Stop beating yourself up.”

“See, this is why you should be captain instead of me,” I laughed through tears.

“I’ll be your vice-captain,” she sighed. “You can just be the pretty face of the team.”

“Iwa-chan~! You think I’m pretty?”

“No.”

“So mean!”

-

“Iwa-chan,” I sighed.

“What?” She was getting annoyed and impatient, I could tell.

“I’m…sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making us lose. All I wanted to do was go to Nationals with you, Iwa-chan. Ever since we were six! It was all I wanted for us.”

“You shouldn’t sit on the floor,” she said quietly. “You’ll hurt your knee, moron.”

She came over and offered me her hand. When she pulled me to my feet, I tried not to look at her. I didn’t want to freak her out.

“Iwa-chan.”

“Just say what you came to say!” She looked at me desperately. It wasn’t a look I recognized on her face. “We already lost. All we have is the future, so talk about what is and not what could have been!”

“You’ve always been here for me.”

“Yeah?”

“You take me down a notch when I’m too arrogant, and you build me up when I doubt myself.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re my spiker.”

“You’re my setter. Is this really what you came to say?”

“H-Hajime…” I didn’t use her given name much anymore, but I wanted her to know I’m being sincere. “You heard it the first time. I’m in love with you.”

“Really? Or is this just something that happens every time we lose? Every time you get the chance to sweep someone new off their feet?”

“I-Iwa!” I grabbed her shoulders. “I would never confess to you if I didn’t mean it! I wouldn’t risk losing my best friend like that! Are you kidding me?”

“Why not until now?”

“I’m a coward.”

“That’s true. How long?”

“So long.”

“I wish you’d have told me sooner.” She rolled her eyes, blinking away tears. “Because I love you too.”

“You…do?”

“Yeah.”

“How long?”

“So long,” she laughed.

I pulled her closer to me. “Really, Iwa-chan? Is that why you always got so mean when I was cute?”

“You weren’t cute, just annoying.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You’re even being annoying right now, Shittykawa.”

“If you’re going to be my girlfriend, you can’t keep calling me mean names, Iwa-chan.”

“I’ll call you whatever I want if you’re going to keep calling me ‘Iwa-chan’, Trashykawa.”

“I _have to_ keep calling you Iwa-chan!” I whined.

“See, the whining. That’s ruining the mood.”

“What mood?”

“The mood of, I was going to take you to my room and kiss you, but now I don’t know if I want to.”

“Iwa-chan!”

“Crappykawa.”

“Hajime.” I pouted at her. She grabbed my face roughly. “Ow!”

“Don’t look at me like that, dumbass! I was teasing you.” She kissed me, soft and quick. “Are you coming, or what?”

“Y-yeah! Hang on!”

-

**Oikawa:** Mmmm yea someone else is getting some which makes you the only lonely lesbian

**Yachi:** I can’t hear you over my not giving a shit, Oikawa.

**Yachi:** Now do what we all wish we could and go h it th at

**Oikawa:** Oh I’m going to

**Oikawa:** Thanks

**Yachi:** Ily don’t text me details or I’ll barf though

**Oikawa:** No promises

-

“Tooru?”

“Coming!”

Maybe Yachi had been right. Maybe this wasn’t so hard after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Time for more of my Tragic Gay Backstory™ (referencing notes I've left on fics relating shit to my real life - inside joke mostly with myself).
> 
> The story about getting in trouble for kissing a girl on the cheek at recess was something that Actually Happened To Me in the second grade, which I remember the humiliation of to this day. I was literally 8, and I thought that kissing on the cheek was what you did with friends. So, being told that showing affection like that to another girl was dirty and shameful...yeah, it's no wonder it took me until I was almost 17 to accept myself fully.
> 
> The point? It's just important that we remember that there's nothing dirty or wrong about liking someone of the same sex. Like, saying that "you're too young to know" and all that? It's gross because it's implying you can only feel gay things once you can feel sexually about them (funny given I'm ace and so are a lot of non-hetero people).
> 
> Did this need a moral? Of course not! But I think a story without a message is like a person without a soul, so here we are. Also, I'm such a Slut for fem!IwaOi. So. Here you go y'all.


End file.
